Hearts Of Steel
Anna is barely three years old when they are once more drawn into a fight Steffi honestly does not expect either of them to survive – the seventh of that severity since the little girl's birth, and the tenth since the day of the Council.
Anna has long since learned what to do when they are, once more, attacked by Myrmidons. They are a great team, mother and daughter, and yet there is only so much Steffi can do to protect them both, especially if threatened by such a force. But, she cannot give up – not when there is still hope. Deserting Anna, that is simply not an option, and so she fights like a mother bear, and prays to Likar with everything she has left, and hopes for yet another miracle.
They have come so far, and perhaps, if she can keep them away from her daughter, perhaps... help will arrive in time to save Anna, at least.
There is a commotion at the far end of the small battlefield they have created for themselves, a Stormmaster and a few local farmers and smiths who have come to defend the village nearby, and Steffi feels her concentration slip. She does not have much strength left, no matter her experience, she cannot keep this up for much longer-
The Dueller comes like salvation, and she straightens as she falls back into a proper stance, much calmer in the knowledge that, for the moment, they are safe from any ambushes, for no other Myrmidon will challenge a Dueller's right to their fight.
Rolling her shoulders Steffi adjusts her grip on the well-known trident, and allows the Dueller the first move. The blow against her head comes quick like lightning and she dodges it by darting out of reach just in time, before springing back in and burying the barbed and razor-sharp tines of her trident in the Myrmidon's chest.
The Dueller screeches as Likar's Revenge tears through their chest, jerking in ruthless helplessness and agony, and Steffi whips around just in time to parry a Warmyrmidon's blow the moment the Dueller is gone. Cursing colourfully she tries her very best to ignore the pain and guilt that rip through her heart as she sees two more of the farmers fall from the corners of her eyes and pushes the tail of her trident into another Warmyridon's eye in merciless cruelty. There is naught to be gained from showing mercy to these creatures, that much at least the last few years have taught her.
The commotion at the other end of the field – she could not say what crops might have grown here, even if she were less distracted – appears to have grown enough that a greater number of Myrmidons have diverted their attention, and Steffi chances a quick look into that direction. It appears a small but apparently ruthlessly effective force has arrived, and though she cannot tell what fraction they are part of she has awfully few options left, other than taking the risk.
That, she muses glumly as she finally deserts the shack in her back in favour of fighting her way through to the other side of the field, her arms growing heavier with every moment and the weight of Anna at her back a potentially deadly addition, at least, has grown better over the years, with the Nemesis growing ever stronger and their situation ever worse: The contracts having risen from the Council in the Convent of Past Floods have united Deliah like no other event before, and considerably raised her chances that those newly arrived forces will turn out to be allies she might ask for help.
All of that, however, slowly but surely becomes devoid of meaning as she realizes that there is no way she will make it through, not with the number of foes still pouring into the muddy, bloodied field.
“Mama…”
Her daughter’s voice is suspiciously tearful, and Steffi forcefully suppresses a brisk answer even as she fights both gravity and exhaustion to raise her trident in time to parry yet another blow.
Shit.
“Shh, love, don’t cry,” she pants somehow between almost stumbling as her foot gets caught in a shallow hole in the ground and pain shoots through her ankle, and ramming the tines of her trident into yet another Warmyrmidon’s throat. It is ripped apart underneath her attack, just at the same time as sharp, piercing pain cuts into her shoulder and she falls to her knees with a cry, acting barely even on instinct when she draws the trident into a wild, uncontrolled arc, that – miraculously – appears to hit the attacker behind her.
“Mama!”
“I’m sorry, love,” Steffi gasps as she fights her way back onto her feet, taking out the next Myrmidon and barely dodging a mace that comes swinging towards her head – Weaponbrothers. Perfect, just what she needed- “Do you have the letter I gave you?”
There was something, a piece of banner spotted from the corners of her eyes as she fell, and she might as well have imagined it… but it looked suspiciously like Auril’s symbol, and right now that sliver of hope is enough to give her the strength to keep going.
“Yes, Mama, but-“
With a war-cry Irmgard would have been proud of dropping from her lips she barrels into the Brother, the moment of surprise enough to allow her a fatal blow as the mace collides agonizingly with her upper arm. A cry of pain escapes her even as she springs forward, through a cluster Myrmidons with little regard left for her own safety, and but moments later heavy, shattering relief settles into her bones and pushes the air from her lungs, for the tall, bulky warrior taking off a Warmyrmidon’s head with a mighty blow a few feet over is, most certainly, a Paladin of Auril. She stumbles again, the pain in her ankle an ever-present sharpness, and whips around just in time to save Anna when the Likar-damned Weaponbrother rises from the ground as their Brother calls them, and hauls off another blow – just in time to save Anna, intercepting the stroke meant for her-
The world is almost muted when she wakes, subdued colours and attenuated sounds surrounding her. Steffi contemplates going back to sleep, exhaustion still clinging to her bones and the prospect of forgetting for another few hours ever so tempting, but then voices reach her ear, and she realizes that must have been what woke her.
“-know her?”
“I do indeed,” a male voice answers, and the boneless, unstoppable relief that rushes through her veins almost rises tears to her eyes.
He’s here. She has finally found him – and that means Anna, too, is safe.
Taking a deep breath she forces herself to open her eyes after all and wrestles her tired body up into a sitting position. The pain in her arm is still present, if far less crippling, and she carefully cradles it against her chest as her eyes travel across the crammed tent she has apparently been treated in. The number of Auril’s insignia, at least, is comforting-
“-once she wakes,” the other speaker says as the outer gives way, and Steffi recognizes the Paladin she fought her way through to. He is almost ridiculously tall, ducking his head as he steps inside, followed by a votary carrying a small girl with wild hair on his hip.
“Mama!” Anna exclaims the moment she spots her mother, sitting on the cot, and squirms until the one carrying her puts her down.
Easily manoeuvring her wounded arm out of the way Steffi catches her daughter as she throws herself halfway across the tent, pulling her into her lap.
“Are you alright, sweetheart?”
Nodding vigorously Anna hides her small face against her mother’s neck, and Steffi simply winds her uninjured arm around the slim body of the young girl. They have done this too often already-
Finally, once she is sure Anna is safe and sound, she raises her gaze again to meet one of deep brown staring at her, and feels a smile trickle onto her lips quite without her consent.
“Heinrich – we’ve found you.”
“Steffi,” the tall votary answers, voice thick with an unnamed emotion, before turning to look at the Paladin. “We’ll talk later?”
“Alright,” the burly warrior answers, “but I want my half of our tent back!”
Laughing softly Steffi watches Heinrich escort him out even as she tentatively begins to move her foot in an attempt to see how badly she is still hurt, her eyes never once leaving him – he is indeed a sight for sore eyes.
Heinrich does not dally, closing the tent behind the rather cheeky Paladin before walking over to her cot with long steps. He falters for a few moments, apparently unsure of how to treat her, and Steffi carefully reaches out her free hand, to wrap her fingers around his larger ones.
“Steffi- …”
He appears to be out of words and for a few short, terrible moments she worries that he may not have honoured their agreement after all, that too much time might have passed or that he met someone else-
“I’d given up hope, to ever see you again,” he admits lowly, finally returning the comforting squeeze of her fingers, and sinks onto the cot next to her. “It’s been so long…”
"Too long," she agrees quietly, sorely tempted to simply fall back into his embrace and ignore the world outside his arms, like she did all those years ago. If only she could... "Heinrich-"
"Mama!" Anna interrupts her, re-emerging from her little hide-out against her mother's neck, "'s he te Heinrich wev been lookin for?"
"Just the one," Steffi smiles a little crookedly, ignoring the question in his eyes in favour of re-arranging Anna's position against her, as her shoulder is beginning to protest against being put through quite so much movement. There will be enough time to tell him the details later, without the danger of a way too attentive three-year-old catching what she is not meant to know. "But it seems that he found us, after all."
"Oh," Anna answers thoughtfully as she watches him with dark eyes, "'ll you tell me now why?"
"Why what?" Steffi inquires patiently, well-used to the small girl's half-sentences, and breathes a kiss against her daughter's freshly-washed curls.
"Why we wanted to find him," Anna clarifies, raising her clear gaze to stare inquisitively at her mother instead, and Steffi's heart stumbles as she realizes that the shy child has now placed her in quite an awkward position, having to spill secrets she would have rather disclosed under self-chosen conditions. But, well, such is the way of children, so the young warrior once more screws up her courage – Heinrich's presence, it seems, will force her to do so whenever they meet – and takes a deep breath.
"Because he's your Papa, love," she says, not daring to look at him (though he stiffens quite unmistakably), "and it was about time you met him. Besides, you need someone else to take care of you, with all the dangerous situations we seem to find ourselves in."
Anna's dark eyes find Heinrich once more and she watches him for a few more, never-ending moments, before nodding in acceptance. "So dat's why you cried when we didna find him."
Steffi sits frozen for a moment before her shoulders sag, hiding her face in her daughters wild curls.
"That was supposed to be a secret, sweetheart."
"Oh. Sorry," Anna answers, not even a bit apologetic, and winds herself out of her mother's arms in order to crawl into her father's lap instead. She watches him for a few more moments, head tilted back and looking up at him with those wide, trusting eyes, before burying her face against his dirtied robe. "Hug!" she demands, quite insistently, and the moment Heinrich's free arm has wrapped around her she melts against him.
Steffi watches her with a slightly skewed smile, before finally forcing herself to raise her gaze once more.
Heinrich, of course, is watching her-
"You took care of her, for however long I was unconscious?"
He nods, eyes darting down to watch the child now sleeping against him, before gulping. "I did. It seemed... right, since she was with you. What... what happened?"
Steffi sighs heavily, her shoulders sagging. "I... that's a long story, and not a particularly nice one," she warns him, gaze travelling through the tent as she reminds herself that this is precisely what she wanted. Still – she is more than entitled to fear his reaction!
"I won't be going anywhere," he assures her, and she sighs once more.
"Alright. I... well, as you can see, the night we spent with each other after the Council had... consequences. I didn't realize at first, though, we sailed out the very next day, bare hours we'd parted, and... the mood was chastened. I missed you terribly, and Irmgard had this... thing with Ballint, I didn't even know the details – not that I wanted to! Either way, we re-joined our Order's fleet, and met with the Zealots of Gefin as well as the Paladin's fleet, as agreed upon. For a few weeks we sailed together, before splitting up according to the orders from the deliahwide War Council. Our troop... was summoned to Falkenstein."
Here she breaks off, in expectance of his reaction, and still flinches violently when his free hand closes almost painfully around her injured shoulder.
"You were at Falkenstein?"
“I was,” she confirms quietly, “and I’d… rather not talk about it any more than absolutely necessary, if you don’t mind.”
“A-alright,” he agrees helplessly, and without really thinking about it Steffi shuffles over to lean against him.
“It was bad,” she admits, reluctantly, and, following her daughter’s example, buries her face in the dirtied and battered robes against his shoulder. There is safety in the familiarity of the smell, the sensation of the rough cloth against her skin, and she exhales slowly. “Irmgard… was offered a Bargain, by Likar, when the enemy threatened to overrun us. She accepted. I… didn’t even know I was pregnant at the time, and neither of us could’ve predicted- … Anna is marked as Sacrifice, just like me. That’s the reason we were out there, fighting a multitude of Myrmidons, again. There’s so little I can do to protect her, for they'll find us no matter where we go…” She cannot suppress the shiver that runs through her at that, nor the cold creeping into her bones at the remainder of what her three year old daughter has had to go through already-
Heinrich’s arm is strong and warm as it is wound around her shaking shoulders, and his lips against her forehead give her the strength to regain control over herself.
After all he, more than anyone else, deserves to know.
“Irmgard needn’t have asked forgiveness of me, her acceptance of Likar’s offer was what turned the tides, and allowed the few of us who still lived to escape the Myrmidons… she never forgave herself, though, for thusly endangering Anna. She was like… an aunt to her, and helped me every step of the way. I was appointed Stormmaster in the aftermath of Falkenstein, and she elected Head of the Order of Revenge, after so many fell… We returned to the remains of our Order’s fleet, and I stood with them as well as I could, until Anna’s birth and beyond. Our agreement… I figured that you wouldn’t have wanted me to leave my post, not when I knew I could help, so I stayed.”
She cautiously, hesitantly, tilts her head back to look at him, only to be surprised by chapped lips suddenly dancing across her own, and a treacherous wetness trailing down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs and she frowns in confusion even as she rests her forehead against his, closing her eyes as she bathes in the safety of his embrace.
“What for?”
“That you had to live through all that.”
She sits in silence for a few long, heavy moments, before nodding slowly. “It was… hard,” she hesitantly continues, “especially when Irmgard fell, two years ago – to save Anna. It brought her peace, that much I am sure of, but what it cost us…” She laughs a little bitterly, then, and his arm tightens around her in a gesture of support – oh, she wishes he could have been with her all along! “We left the fleet, after her death. I gave commission of my ship and crew to my Lieutenant and began to search for you. I couldn’t… I just, with Irmgard gone, I couldn’t take the risk anymore – that I’d fall, and she’d have no family left to take care of her. Michael, I’m sure, would love her dearly, but… he’s not you.”
It is hard, laying her heart bare like that, but Heinrich is the one person in all of Deliah she would tell everything, give anything, if only he asked-
“And I’m glad you came,” he murmurs against her hair, fingers now drawing circles against her uninjured shoulder. “The only guilt I might feel is that of having drawn you away from your Order-”
“I endangered them every moment I stayed,” she interrupts him softly, bitterly. “They might have been called to where shit was closest to hit the screw, but that doesn’t mean that having a Sacrifice with them… was a good idea. We left, and stayed away from almost everyone, in order to spare them the danger clinging to our every step. I… after what happened those last few years, to villagers and people we met, I might’ve reconsidered my plan to join you, too, if I hadn’t heard of all the fucking crappy situations you managed to get yourselves into even without my help. We… somehow, we were always a few steps behind, never catching up with you, but I always got to see the aftermath. Likar fucking wept, Heinrich, I could’ve strangled you ten times over, for the risks you took!”
He raises an eyebrow, teasingly, and a smile dances around the corners of his lips “No more than you.”
“I, at least, didn’t get involved in all this shit intentionally,” she snarks right back even as she buries herself further into his embrace, ever careful not to wake their daughter.
Heinrich laughs softly, resting his cheek against her forehead and holding her close. It feels like coming home – after four years apart, after two years of living in the constant fear that she might arrive just a second too late, she has finally found him again-
“I was terribly scared when I recognized you, two days ago,” he suddenly whispers, and she feels him gulp painfully, “that you’d die under my very fingers. I was never quite that desperate to heal anyone… They took you away, after I’d exhausted myself, and forbade me to follow. I… I’ll admit I was going a little crazy – and then I met Anna.” He laughs softly, and his large, gentle hand against their daughter’s small head is like a dream come true. “I did suspect that she might be mine when she gave me her age, but I didn’t know for sure… and you lay unconscious for almost two days. I was… I was terrified.” He takes a deep breath, then, his fingers against her shoulder quivering slightly, and she presses a gentle kiss against his. “You can’t even begin to imagine how relieved I am to have you in my arms, alive.”
“I believe I can,” she gently corrects him, finally breaking away and ever-so carefully manoeuvring her uninjured arm around her daughter until she can lift her off Heinrich's thighs and set her down next to them on the cot, easily working a pillow underneath her head. She cannot help but smile softly when he reaches out to tug the blanket across her, his fingers lingering against the small shoulder.
Steffi exhales slowly, watching Anna sleep for a few more moments, before climbing back onto the cot and right up in his lap.
He allows her to do so with twitching lips and soft eyes, reaching out to steady her when she unwittingly leans onto her hurt arm a little too heavily, and pulls her back against his chest once she has settled down comfortably.
"She's exhausted."
Nodding slowly Steffi melts further against him, clinging to the characteristic robes he still wears like she did all those years ego, when she so desperately wanted to keep him at her side after the Council.
"Did she sleep at all while I was unconscious?"
"Barely," he admits, and she shrugs her uninjured shoulder when she hears the guilt in his voice.
"She rarely ever does when I'm hurt – unsurprisingly. But, she's asleep now."
"You sound like you'll be asleep soon, too," he answers, gentle amusement softening his voice, and she cannot help but smile.
"Possibly. I haven't slept well in ages... but we're finally safe again, with you."
"I'm glad you feel that way."
Tilting her head back to blink up at him she presses a kiss against his bearded chin, the smile still clinging to her lips. "How could I not? You're the one I've clung to for eight years... there's nowhere I'd rather be but here, in your arms, no matter what might await us the moment we leave this tent."
"I'm unjustifiably lucky to have won the heart of a woman like you," he murmurs against her cheek, his embrace tightening. "And I'm not going to let you leave my side ever again – not with you and our daughter both being marked as Sacrifice. I won't lose you again."
"Good," Steffi murmurs, his beard tickling her lips, and the next kiss ends up closer to his throat than his chin as she feels her eyes droop and her head fall against his shoulder. "...wake me if I have a nightmare?"
"I will," he promises, and she finally falls asleep in the knowledge that, whatever will happen – they are together again, and everything will be alright.
