Blue turned the key and pushed the door open, expecting Sayl to lay sleeping on the big bed in the main room. But as soon as he took one step inside – door still wide open – he knew she wasn’t here anymore. Dread and fear creeped up his neck as he tried to figure out what could have happened. When he went to work this morning Sayl had been asleep and he had left her a note, saying when he would be back.
He heard a noise in the hall behind him, but couldn’t react due to his shock.
“Blue!”, someone squealed and groped for his backpack so he would turn around. It took him a moment of a heartbeat to recognize the voice he loved. With a mildly puzzled expression on his face he turned, slowly.
“I’m sorry!”, Sayl said hastily, realizing what her absence could have meant for him. He probably wouldn’t let on, but she knew. Last night she had been down. Depressed. Crying violently til sleep had caught up with her. Sayl brushed her hair over her shoulder and flashed him a soft smile. She didn’t want him to worry.
“I thought a bit fresh air could take my mind of... things.” She paused and took a timid step forward as to get inside. “I have to admit I lost track of time and couldn’t find my way back. But I found a sweet playground, took a swing and played with the kids from the neighbourhood –“ With his backpack still on his shoulders Blue stepped towards her. She simply looked at him, anticipating his next move. He grabbed her arms, locked eyes with her just briefly, then bent down to kiss her. Sayl closed her eyes and responded with a yearning she didn’t know she had.
“Sorry.”, she whispered, catching her breath. Blue just shrugged is shoulders and turned around. “Never mind...”, he said hiding a smile. She couldn’t help but grinning all over her face, when she followed him inside.
“Can I have the shower first? I’ll hurry!” Sayl asked as he shut the door and finally got rid of his backpack. “Sure.”
It didn’t took her more than five minutes and she came out of the bathroom with just a white towel around her body. “Your turn!”, she called laughing. Blue came crossing her way and made no secret in checking her out. Sayl giggled, looked in his dazzling greyblue eyes as long as possible. When she finally heard the door close and water running, she opened her bag, searching for underwear. She put on a white T-shirt and black hot pants. And as she slowly wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee for Blue, she felt her mood shift. One month ago a good friend had died in a car accident, where Sayl had supposed to be in too. But she hadn’t been there. Guilt and grief overwhelmed her again. In effort to distract herself she thought about possible evening arrangements, opened a cupboard and touched a mug.
Meanwhile Blue came out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of darkgreen boxershorts. He was relieved that Sayl could smile again, though he wasn’t sure how long her happyness would last. She had never tried to talk about the accident. And the fact that she could have been in this car sent him shivers down the spine. Something shattered and with a sinking feeling he hurried to where the noise came from.
Sayl stood next to the small table, her hands over her face. A white mug was laying in pieces to her naked feet. There weren’t any sobs, so she wasn’t crying. Yet. Before someone could get hurt, he crouched down and scooped the three big chunks up, shoved the smaller remains with the back of his hand out of harms way. Sayl wouldn’t dare looking. He thought she might be afraid, that he was angry with her, which he wasn’t. Just worried. Actually, she was afraid of facing him. Bursting into tears and running away. Again! She didn’t want to live that drama anymore. It was exhausting. How could he stand this? She was tired of herself!! Now she could feel his questioning stare. Next thing she knew, he had his hands on her elbows, gently removing her hands from her face. She looked down in embarassment.
“Hey...”, he said in a hushed tone in order to calm her down. And it worked. Sayl took a deep breath, then looked up, starting to say that she was sorry. But she couldn’t. There was no strentgh in her to excuse her. Besides, she didn’t have to express her feelings all the way. Blue just had to look at her and he knew. He smiled his beautiful grinning smile and her heart skipped a beat. Without thinking about it, she placed a hand onto his bare chest. He was warm. And comfortable. He made it seem so easy to just forget and let go. She leaned in to kiss him. This was all so new to her. They had never kissed until the night before, when he finally had caught her crying silently on her own. Blue had sworn to never let her be all alone again. Despite the fact, that he had to go to work. But she could call, right? That was why he had been so out of his head, when he first thought she had left. But it was going to be okay! He told himself...
So he kissed her back with much more force than he had intended to do, willing her to move on and find her happyness with him. Sayl hugged him, desperatley. Knowing that she could never hide her feelings from him. Blue placed one hand on her back the other one on her thigh, scooping her up to carry her to the big bed. She broke free from the intense kiss, burying her head in his shoulder. She could never thank him enough.
