Carried by the Wind   von Chieri
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                                  Kapitel 1: 
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In the air they're dancing. The leaves of the trees, rich and intense in their
colors. A new season will begin very soon, one which isn't filled with the
warmth the world was granted with just a few weeks ago. It disappears into the
neverending sky, all taken by the chilly wind which caresses my body. Its
coldness makes me shiver, lets me long for something to warm me up. But at a
time like this nothing can actually give me the warmth I'm longing for. In the
near distance I can see him standing, his eyes searching the opposite sidewalk.
Tatsuki. The unruly hair flies wildly in the wind just like the open jacket of
his uniform. Even in this moment he seems so perfect to me, so irresistable that
it hurts me deep inside. On a normal day I would just run over to him, happy
that he waited for me again, that the two of us can go to school together. But
today is different. I cannot pretend as if nothing had happened. The last hours
of the past day, they had changed both of our lifes completely. Suddenly my body
is shaking violently and I try my best to hold back all the tears which begin to
form inside of me. The river of emotions they would create, filled with sadness
and agony, is something I don't want others to see. Somehow it's strange that
I'm still able to cry. Throughout the whole night I had been crying until, in
the early morning hours, sleep had finally embraced me. The short time of peace
hadn't been long enough to erase all signs of my current mood. The green color
of my eyes is drowning in a pool of redness, making it visible to anyone that I
had cried. And of all people in the world I don't want Tatsuki to see that. I
don't even want to look at him, not for the shortest moment. Otherwise my heart
could really split into pieces and would make me nothing but a lifeless shell.
Now I still have a small chance that it might heal, slowly maybe but it can. And
so I'm lying to myself once again, trying to hide my real emotions. In truth, I
want him to see my tears. I want to look at him. And I want to fall into his
embrace, believing that we are still the same. Even at the risk of having my
heart broken for eternity, its pieces being carried away by the wind. Silently I
ask myself why it came so far. The chain of fateful actions resulting into a
heartbreak, how was it born?

It all started with a rumor at school. I never give much for rumors since they
only carry little truth within. A small pea, hidden under a great amount of
colorful stories, making it nearly impossible to discover it. Maybe I wouldn't
have even heard of that specific rumor if my best friend, Miya, hadn't told me
during the newspaper club. Tatsuki was cheating on me. Without a warning, she
placed the facts on the table, leaving me no time to collect myself. A number of
fellow classmates had seen him sitting in a café along with the captain of our
cheerleader team. And that not only once but at least three times. Needless to
say that I was shocked at first. However, I trusted him with all my soul and
began to defend him shortly after. I was convinced that the others had either
mistaken another guy for him or that the two were just going through the plans
for the upcoming sports festival. That seemed more than logic for me even though
Miya was of a different opinion. The two of us kept discussing on that issue
throughout the whole club and with the time doubts began to rose inside of me.
If there was a good reason behind all this, why hadn't Tatsuki told me about it?
Not that I force him to tell me what he's doing once we aren't together, he does
that himself just in case something happens. That made me a bit suspicious and
right after the club I confronted him. I didn't mention all of the details
though. Okay, I didn't mention the rumor at all. I only asked him if he would
ever lie to me, a question which he answered with a firm no. That satisfied me
enough to shove the rumor into the farest edge of my mind. And it would've been
locked away for sure if he hadn't mentioned that he had an important appointment
in the evening. With a girl.

During the early hours of the evening, I was laying on my bed and stared at my
cellphone, desperately waiting for Tatsuki's call. With the time passing, my
mind started to wander and the more it did, the more thoughts came up inside of
me. Their root was always the same, the rumor which crept through our school
corridors. I couldn't believe that he was cheating on me but still a small part
inside of me screamed out loudly that it was possible. Men were like that after
all, falling for the next good-looking girl and dropping their girlfriend. I
shook my head to get these thoughts away but it was all in vain. The longer I
tried, the intense they became and the end was marked by a call of Miya. Out of
the blue she told me that she had followed Tatsuki after school and that he was
sitting in a café with another girl at that very moment. The blood in my venes
nearly froze and I was unable to reply. Inside of me, two voices were fighting
against each other. One telling me that it had been clear all along and the
other one reminding me that he would never lie to me. It didn't matter which
voice I paid more attention to, they both wanted me to go to that café. And I
went there as fast as I could. Only to be granted with a scenery too horrible
for me to take. My boyfriend Tatsuki kissed another girl. The guy who had vowed
to love me for eternity kissed the overstyled captain of the cheerleader team,
Nina. The realization lead to complete immobility on my side, I wasn't able to
move or even say something. Tears appeared in my eyes, blurring my view, my
entire body trembled and for the first time in my life I felt the pain of being
betrayed. My senses came back when Miya confronted Tatsuki who was more than
embarrassed to have been caught in such a situation. And then the world
collapsed. I cannot remember what exactly he said to me, which words he used to
comfort me. All I know is that I started yelling at him like never before,
screaming my entire pain outside. Without even waiting for him to reply nor
caring about the people watching us, my hand connected with his cheek, leaving a
bright red mark. By that point, I was crying. My only wish was to run away, to
hide until the pain was gone. I gave in to this wish but not before saying the
three fatal words. It is over.

Despite my sadness I have to smile. Three words begin a relationship, three
words can end it. But sadly enough the position I had brought myself into wasn't
even half as easy. True, Tatsuki had cheated on me, I had seen it with my own
eyes. Or, better to say, it had looked like it. Until the moment when Nina
decided to call me in order to explain everything. And so I learned that she had
more or less forced him to give her some coaching in modern society, constantly
hoping he would discover his interest in her. When that wasn't the case, she
decided to make the first move, simply by kissing him. She had no idea that I
was around and immediately interpreted the whole scenery in the wrong way. In
fact, she ensured me that Tatsuki only loved me and no one else. So much even
that he thought about giving up on the special training of the soccer club just
to be able to spend more time with me. Needless to say that I felt as if a whole
mountain had been lifted off my chest. But it didn't take long until I realized
what I had done. The words I had said, the things I had done, only because I
hadn't been patient enough to wait for him to explain it all, they showed my
distrust in him. And suddenly I felt more devastated than before. It served me
right if he hated me now, after having hurt him that much. Probably he won't
ever look at me again. Before I knew what was going on, tears streamed down my
face and sobs made my body tremble. Neither Miya nor any of my relatives was
able to calm me down. I hid myself under the comforting sheets of my bed and
continued crying until I finally fell asleep. Dawn came way too soon and with it
the realization that I had to face him, no matter how bad I felt. It was
impossible to stay at home just because of a broken relationship, that was
ridiculous. I tried to convince myself that I was strong enough to handle that
situation, that I would find the right words when speaking to him. But all
convidence, the small it might have been, disappeared upon seeing him. So near
and still so far away.

They say that apologizing is one of the most hardest things to do, something I
believe in this very moment. As much as I try, I cannot find the right words,
the ones which he wants to hear. A single tear slips down my cheek, soon drying
in the cold wind. It's frustrating, so much that I could just break down and
cry. My knees are shaking and I realize that my body isn't able to go through
this torture any longer.
"Tatsuki."
The wind carries my small voice over to him and he turns around slowly, facing
me with a look which is an exact mirror of mine. Sadness and pain in its purity,
only differed by the fact that tears are gracing my eyes. Moments of silence
pass until he makes a step into my direction. I remain at my place, never taking
my eyes of him. He steps forward once again and my emotions break through. The
tears I tried to hold back ever since the morning float down my face, sobs are
shaking my body. Only this time, the sadness is eased by the feel of his arms
around me, wrapping me into a tight embrace. Comforting words being whispered
against my ear, a hand gently stroking my back. I had missed it so much
throughout the last night when I had been alone with my pain. My hands clench
onto his shirt as if they are the last stable thing in this world and suddenly
they come. The words I had been searching for.
"I'm so sorry, Tatsuki. I never meant it to come down to a point like this,
never. But after all this, I ... just didn't know what to do ... with you and
..."
"Shh. It's okay. Don't blame yourself that much, after all I hadn't been honest
to you from the start. If I had ... maybe it had all ended another way."
"I ... wanted to trust you."
With my face pressed against his chest, my voice is dull. The tears have sept
away, leaving only a few drying traces as a memory. A memory which will fade
soon enough. Tatsuki is twirling one of my goldenbrown strains around a finger,
most likely thinking about what to say next.
"Do you ... trust me?"
"With all my heart. I always did, even in moments of doubts."
"So?"
He cups my chin gently, forcing me to look straight into his eyes. And I don't
protest, realizing that my eyes are able to show him my feelings better than my
words.
"You should know it. Even if I said something different yesterday. I was
devastated at that point though."
For the sake of the two of us, I manage a light smile which also makes new tears
appear in my eyes.
"However, I could never lose my trust in you."
"Nor could I. Even when you insulted and hit me in the end, I trusted you. But I
have to admit that I was angry as well."
"Only angry?"
His hand carefully wipes away the tears which dare to slip down my cheeks and
his expression becomes serious. It's been so long since I had last seen him like
that, I completely forgot how adorable he looks with it.
"No, sad as well. I'm only happy that Nina decided to explain it all to you
since I feared you wouldn't believe me."
"You feared right."
"See? I'm glad that it's now a story of the past."
Silence settles between us and we follow our own thoughts for a short time. The
question if we are still the same now has an answer clear enough for us to see.
We aren't the same since we have just gone through one of the greatest tests
life can give you. It made us stronger and from now on the trust in each other
is higher than ever before. One thought, however, remains. A nagging thought
which just doesn't want to disappear until it's spoken out loud.
"Do you ... love me? Even after all this mess?"
His reply is complete disbelief, telling me that I shouldn't have asked. After
all, I knew the truth ever since the day we first met, since the moment he
didn't hestitate to take me into his arms and to comfort me.
"I do love you. More than soccer or anything else in this world. I would give up
anything just to be by your side, Akimi."
"Oh, Tatsuki ..."
I cannot help when tears are blurring my view again. This time they express the
joy I feel, the happiness for having found the man of my dreams. The only love
of my life which I will cherish until the day I die.
"I love you, Tatsuki, I really do. So much that it hurts."
"Akimi ..."
My tears are softly wiped away again and then his lips capture mine. A gentle
touch, sweet as honey and warm like the summer breeze. It has nothing passionate
within, no sign of fire. It's a gesture of pure love, so pure that it has
something holy about it. I can nearly feel our souls melting together for a
short moment before he breaks the kiss. The gentleness is replaced with the
coldness of the wind but I don't care anymore. I have found the source of my
warmth. Taking my hand, Tatsuki grants me with his beautiful smile.
"Let's go. School is awaiting us."
"I'm right here by your side!"
And I always will.

Life is never easy, it has a tough side all of us are confronted with during
their time on earth. Even if that moments seem unfair, they let you grow, make
you realize the truth behind certain things. And that realization lets all
problems disappear, carried away by the soft wind.

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