The End of the World   von Puraido
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                         Prolog: The End of the World
                         ----------------------------


Katsuki felt numb. He sat in his living room on the couch. Tears stung in his
eyes, so much so that he couldn’t hold them back any longer. He was alone
anyway, so why should he hold them back?
Alone …
Yes, he was so alone! He held a golden wedding band in his hand. His own band
seemingly burned into the flesh of his skin. His chin quivered when he
remembered the emotionless green eyes looking into his.
 
“I’m sorry, Katsuki, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.”
 
Izuku’s voice was void of any emotions. The usage of his first name and not
the childish pet name physically hurt the blond more than it should have. Almost
more than the words his husband spoke.
He remembered how Izuku pulled the golden band off his finger, how he grabbed
his hand and placed the small piece of metal in it.
 
“Why?”
 
Katsuki’s voice was hoarse. He could barely hold his tears back while talking
to his beloved.
 
“Because I don’t love you anymore.”
 
His head was spinning. Deku didn’t love him anymore? No, this was just a cruel
joke!
 
“Y-You don’t love me anymore? Why?”
 
He remembered Deku shrugging his shoulders. His facial expression was still
blank. So unusually blank. Cold. Unnatural.
 
“I just fell out of love. Our relationship isn’t the same anymore. Not as it
used to be.”
 
Deku closed Katsuki’s hand around the wedding band. His hands felt so hot
around Katsuki’s. Usually, the blond had a slightly higher body temperature,
but not now. Now he was freezing cold. His entire world came crashing down.
 
“Goodbye, Katsuki.”
 
With that, the green-haired man walked past him, out of the room. Out of the
house. Out of his life. Katsuki couldn’t speak a word. It felt like his tongue
was glued to his palate.
 
This happened two hours ago, and Katsuki was still in shock. He couldn’t even
move more than the few meters he needed to sit on the couch.
 
Deku left him.
After ten years of marriage, he just left him!
Deku didn’t love him anymore!
 
Faster and faster, his tears came running down, a hiccup started, and he
couldn’t get it under control. He closed his hand over the wedding ring,
rubbing his eyes with his palm. Loud sobs escaped him.
 
He hadn’t realized that Deku felt this way.
He never saw it coming!
How bad of a husband was he to not notice anything?
No matter how Deku felt. Katsuki still loved him deeply. He had been happy in
their marriage. So why didn’t Deku say anything?
Why did his love stop? Katsuki couldn’t understand it.
 
Katsuki’s whole body shook, and his tears ran down faster. He felt like
throwing up so much he cried. His heart felt heavy, and his head was clouded in
sadness.
He could hear the rumbling of thunder over his loud cries. He had been out all
day, searching for a birthday present for Izuku. When he came home, he felt a
shift in the atmosphere. He knew that something terrible had happened, but he
had never imagined something like this.
Slowly, the blond lay down on the couch, the rain pattered against his windows.
It felt like the storm in his head projected to the outside.
He just stayed there on the couch for hours, wondering what he could have done
differently. At which point Deku decided he didn’t love him anymore. Was it
his fault? What did he do wrong? Why didn’t Deku talk to him?
All those questions plagued him in his sleep. It was a restless night. He made
himself throw up because he couldn’t stop crying. He felt absolutely awful.
 
When Katsuki woke up the following day, his eyes were red and swollen. His
cheeks were puffy and red, and he could feel the dried tears streaks on his
cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away.
The birds were singing, and the sun shone through the window.
His mind felt so numb when he forced himself to get up. He walked over to the
window. The rain was over. The air was cleared, and the sky was red-orange from
the rising sun. It looked like every morning.
 
“Why does the sun go on shining?”
 
Some birds were on the railing of his balcony. Chirping their sounds as if
nothing had happened. As if his world hadn’t ended last night.
 
“Why do the birds go on singing?”
 
He couldn’t understand it. His mind couldn’t wrap itself around it. His
world had just ended, so why was everything the same as it was?
As if the love of his life hadn’t just left him. Hadn’t broken his heart
into pieces. Made him cry so much that he threw up.
He observed the little birds outside his window. They looked so carefree, just
going about their day.
Sick of it, Katsuki turned around. He walked towards the kitchen; he needed a
coffee. But before he could reach out for the machine, he passed the
refrigerator. His eyes snapped to the picture of his beloved and him, smiling,
happy, cuddling.
More tears collected in his eyes, and the heavy sting in his heart returned. It
felt like thousands of knives stabbed him repeatedly. They looked so happy. This
picture was from five years ago when his world was still spinning.
 
“Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?”
 
He slid down to the ground pulling his knees closer to his body, his arms
wrapping around them. He cried into his knees, still clutching the golden
wedding band as if his life depended on it.
Katsuki still couldn’t grasp that his Deku was gone. That it was over. That
his world ended. Sadness filled him; it was even worse than when he thought he
caused the end of All Might.
Small explosions sparked in his hands; he was too upset to control himself. His
entire body shook; it physically hurt. Deku was gone. Deku wouldn’t return
home.
 
The blond didn’t know how long he sat on the ground, but he got disturbed in
his sulking when his phone rang. New energy surged through his body. He hoped so
much that it was his Deku. So he scrambled over to the couch table where it
rang. But when he looked at the display, he saw that it was Kirishima. Not
Deku.
His hope died down as quickly as it had come. Emptiness filled his head again.
His body lost all strength for a moment.
His eyes felt so swollen; his lashes were clumped together because of his tears.
He contemplated if he should even answer, but when the phone didn’t stop
ringing, he sighed heavily and picked it up.
“Yes?”
His voice felt graveling; there was a massive lump in his throat. He still felt
sick, as if he had to throw up again.
“Morning, Katsuki, is everything alright? You missed your shift.”
He didn’t know …
Kirishima was unaware of what had happened. Unaware that the world had ended.
That nothing was like the day before.
“Katsuki?”
He tried hard to suppress it, but he couldn’t stifle the next few sobs. The
lump in his throat stopped him from speaking.
“Hey, man, what’s wrong? Are you crying?”
 
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
‘Cause you don’t love me any more.”
 
“It’s over …”
Katsuki managed to bring out. It took everything he had. He was so tired, his
mind still racing. He rolled over onto his back, legs angled. He kept staring at
the ceiling, more tears spilling out of those eyes of his.
“Over? What do you mean, Katsuki?!”
This best friend sounded so concerned. He was always concerned.
“D-Deku … he broke up with me. He doesn’t love me anymore …”
It broke out of him again. To speak it out loud made it real even more. Tear
gates opened, and they rushed over his cheeks.
“Holy shit! I’m on my way!”
It came out without hesitation. Katsuki imagined he could hear his keys
rustling.
“Hold on, Katsuki, okay? I’m getting in my car now. I’m coming over!”
Kirishima kept talking to him over the speaker. Tried to console him. As if this
was so easy to fix …
 
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.”
 
Deku lost his love for Katsuki, and he didn’t even state a reason. Ten years
of marriage, of good times and bad times, were gone. Simply gone. He threw it
all away. Why did he do it? It drove Katsuki insane.
He placed an arm over his eyes, and within seconds the fabric of his sleeve was
wet; he couldn’t care less. Nothing mattered anymore, now that his world had
stopped spinning.
Deku didn’t love him anymore. The most important person in his world stopped
loving him. And here he was, with his own feelings. He still loved him. Loved
him so, so much.
He already missed his warm smiles, the glimmer in his green eyes. Those adorable
freckles. The curly green locks of hair; it always felt so soft under his
fingertips.
Nothing mattered anymore because Deku was gone. Just like that. Like the snap of
his fingers. He didn’t know what he should do now.
Kirishima couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t fix this unless he brought him
his husband back.
But this was impossible. He wouldn’t come back, and Katsuki knew it.
 
“Goodbye, Katsuki.”
 
“Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye.”




                Kapitel 1: Habits /Stay High (+ Hopeful Ending)
                -----------------------------------------------


 
Katsuki groaned when he woke up in the cheap hotel room next to two guys, still
asleep. He rubbed over his face and got out of bed. Quick and quietly, he picked
up his clothes and put them on. He left the pair and made his way back home. He
was a little wobbly on his legs from his nightly activities.
 
About thirty minutes later, he arrived at his apartment, and he stumbled in; he
felt sick and barely made it to the toilet. He threw up whatever was left in his
system. He flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth. A look in the mirror showed
him the deep eye bags and the red of his sclera that almost matched his irises.
 
He somehow managed to make it to the couch before he passed out again.
 
 
It had been five months since Katsuki’s world came crashing down when Izuku,
his husband of ten years, left him from one day to the other. And the blond was
not good at dealing with it.
 
He missed him so much; he tried so many times to get him back. Even occasionally
showed up at his door, but Izuku always sent him away; sometimes, he even called
the police when Katsuki refused to go.
 
He tried so many things to forget about Deku, but only one thing worked:
Alcohol.
 
He was in bars and clubs almost every night; he drank his weight in alcohol to
completely forget about Izuku. At first, he went with Eijiro and his other
friends, but after a while, they told him that he got too excessive and that it
was unhealthy. And fuck, yeah, Katsuki knew this, but it still didn’t stop him
from doing it.
 
 
Katsuki came to life a few hours later. He felt so groggy, and the hangover was
real. But he still got up and got ready for work. After Deku’s departure, he
had to cut his hours drastically. He couldn’t do full shifts anymore, mostly
because he was still so out of it from the rest alcohol in his body.
 
“I go to sex clubs
Watchin’ freaky people gettin’ it on
It doesn’t make me nervous if anything, I’m restless
Yeah, I’ve been around and I’ve seen it all”
 
After work, he came home, showered, and dressed up nicely. Of course, he would
go out again. He made his way over to a gay bar. By now, he was a regular
there.
 
The blond looked around, and his eyes settled on an older man; he looked as
unhappy as Katsuki felt. Scoffing, he approached the guy. “Hey, why the long
face?” he asked him.
 
“Pick up daddies at the playground, how I spend my day time”
 
Cold turquoise eyes mustered him. “Nasty wife and sons that only cause
trouble.” He growled, sipping on his drink.
 
“Oh, I’m sure I can make you feel better,” Katsuki purred. The guy huffed
and downed the liquid. He then gestured for the bartender to give them more.
 
“Sure thing, boy,” he lifted the new glass with a smirk, and Katsuki
mirrored him. He drank double of what the older guy drank. He needed it to have
the courage to go further.
 
“Loosen up their frown, make ’em feel alive”
 
He moaned when this guy pressed him into the rundown mattress and thrust into
him. His legs wrapped around his hips. Their lips met over and over again. It
never felt right, but nothing in Katsuki’s life did, so what did it matter?
 
The guy flipped him around and accelerated. Katsuki begged that it was over
soon. Hot tears of shame spilled out of his eyes. He never liked sex with those
old guys …
 
“I make it fast and greasy, I’m numb and way too easy.”
 
When they were done, Katsuki showered off before going to the next bar. He had
gotten some money from the guy; at least he looked way happier than before.
 
 
He went up to the bar, his ass still hurt, but he ignored it. He popped some
painkillers; hopefully, they would work fast.
 
“You’re gone and I gotta stay high
All the time, to keep you off my mind”
 
 
 
Drink after drink spilled down his throat. He couldn’t forget his
ex-husband’s face. He stumbled over to the toilets; he puked again. He
swallowed some mints before going out again to get the next round of drinks.
 
Some guys pressed against him; their lips were on his. He didn’t know how many
people he kissed that night.
 
Someone offered him a smoke, and in his daze, he took it. They cheered him on,
but he coughed badly. Their laugh rang in his ears. He was never much of a
smoker anyway.
 
Two guys dragged him to the toilets again; three others followed them, and they
kissed him. Katsuki let them do it; his vision was blurry. He vaguely remembered
them fumbling with his pants and how they shared him. It didn’t matter,
though. He held on to the first guy while the second had his way with him. They
then changed positions. When they were done, they let the others in. Even though
Katsuki felt way too overstimulated, they kept going.
 
The last guy was alone, he bent him over the toilet, and he was especially hard
on him. Katsuki’s hands were pressed against the wall, and his head almost
banged against it too. 
 
“Good boy,” the last one praised him when he was done. Katsuki smiled
groggily when he gave him some money. They left him alone in the stall, and he
sunk down on the nasty toilet. He cried heavily, gripping the money. Filthy, he
was so filthy!
 
But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered …
 
“Can’t go home alone again, need someone to numb the pain.”
 
 
Katsuki stumbled out of the bar, some other guy in his arm. He had drank up all
his money and just wanted to go home. His ass hurt so much.
 
On his way back, he stopped to get something to eat. He wasn’t really hungry,
but he just wanted something to fill his mouth.
 
 
What a stupid idea. As soon as he arrived at home, he threw up once again. The
guy was grossed out and left him alone after all.
 
Hot tears streamed down his face when he lay down in the lukewarm water of his
bathtub. He cleaned himself from the remnants of those guys. He sobbed heavily
when he remembered their touches.
 
He hated it. It never felt right. But at the same time, he needed it to get
Izuku out of his mind. He was fine! He didn’t need Izuku at all! He did this
because he wanted to.
 
Katsuki thought once again that he liked to have so much sex. All he ever knew
was Izuku, so it was exciting to meet new people.
 
Or that was at least what he tried to convince himself.
 
 
He shot out of the water when his head sunk under. He coughed hard, and he
jumped out of the tub to throw up again. Luckily it was the weekend, and he
didn’t have to work … A look in the mirror revealed that he looked even
worse.
 
 
Katsuki cried himself to sleep again; this time, he actually made it into his
bed. It was packed with t-shirts that belonged to Izuku; he had left some of
them behind because they were still in the washing machine at the time of his
departure.
 
Nightmares of Izuku haunted him.
 
“How disgusting you are, Katsuki. Are those guys any good? You whore!”
 
The thought that he really was nothing more than a whore was terrifying to him.
 
 
Katsuki was in a dampened mood this night. He had seen Izuku again! And what’s
worse, he had seen him in the company of a woman! They didn’t realize that
Katsuki was close to them; he saw them all happy and chipper. It broke
Katsuki’s heart into a million pieces.
 
After bawling his eyes out once more, he decided to go out again. He went
straight for the hard stuff. He wanted to get those images out of his head. So
Deku had left him for a woman?
 
Katsuki had one drink after the other. Guys hit on him en masse. He made out
with many of them.
 
They sat in a booth. Katsuki was on one of those guys’ laps, and they made him
ride his dick. And then a second and third guys. The kisses felt hollow; their
cocks were uncomfortable. It wasn’t what he needed or wanted, but it was
better than being empty. His mouth got filled with one of those guys, and he had
trouble not gagging on it. The guy ripped on his hair; it didn’t really hurt.
 
For over an hour, they had their way with him. At least they were kind enough to
pay him. Still, he felt dirty and used. He made it to the toilets, where he
broke down crying once more.
 
He left the bar in the early hours, he felt raw and bloody, and he couldn’t
walk normally. His vision was blurry from alcohol and tears.
 
 
 
 
He hammered against the door of Izuku’s new apartment, he didn’t know why he
ended up here, but he couldn’t help it. His face was covered in tear streaks
and snot.
 
It took some time, but eventually, the woman opened. She was in a nightgown and
looked shocked when she saw Katsuki. “Who are you?” She questioned.
 
“O-Out of my way! D-Deku! Where are you?!” He pushed past her and stormed
into the apartment.
 
Izuku came out of the bathroom; he was freshly showered and only half-dressed.
“Katsuki? What are you doing here again?” His voice was harsh again. It hurt
Katsuki so much.
 
“I need you, please, come back to me!” Before Izuku could react, Katsuki
hugged him; he cried heavily.
 
Izuku inhaled deeply. “Who is that?” the woman asked.
 
“My ex-husband …” With gritted teeth, Izuku brushed through Katsuki’s
hair. He carefully pushed him back, looking him up and down. He saw the hickeys
on his ex’s neck. “Come, let’s get you home. I will call Eijiro for
you.”
 
“Don’t need him, only you, please!” Katsuki cried. Izuku raised his
eyebrows when he heard him retching.
 
“Oh, shit,” he dragged Katsuki to the bathroom, and they made it to the
toilet in time. He threw up again. “How much did you drink?”
 
“Don’t know … they gave me more and more,” Katsuki said between two
heaves.
 
“They?” 
 
“Y-Yeah, the guys I was with … they always give me drinks when I let them
fuck me …”
 
“What?”
 
“Otherwise, I can’t forget you … It’s so disgusting, but nothing
helps.”
 
Izuku was tense when he heard that. He hated to see his ex-husband like this. He
pulled Katsuki’s phone out of his pocket. “Ochako, could you please call
“Eijiro” for me, so he can come and pick him up?”
 
“Oh, yeah, sure, is he okay?” She sounded worried.
 
“No, I think not.” Izuku brushed some hair strands out of Katsuki’s sweaty
face. Then, after he was done vomiting, Izuku helped him get clean. It wasn’t
that he hated Katsuki; he hated to see him like that and to know that this was
his fault. He never thought Katsuki would take the break-up so badly.
 
“Eijiro is coming over,” Ochako told Izuku while returning the phone.
 
“W-why are you with her now? D-Did you leave me for her?” Katsuki sniffled.
 
“No, I did not. I met her two months ago. As I said, Katsuki, I … I just
fell out of love. But you are in no shape to have this conversation now.”
 
“Kacchan! Call me Kacchan! I don’t like it when you call me Katsuki; it
hurts!” Katsuki looked at him with his drunken eyes and teary face.
 
“Kacchan, you need to stop this. Let’s talk when you are sober, okay?”
Izuku had a determined look. He was pretty shocked at how much Katsuki had
changed in just five months. It was clear that he hadn’t worked out; the
alcohol had its effects, too; he looked slightly bloated.
 
“Okay …” The blond sniffled.
 
 
About thirty minutes later, Eijiro arrived; he looked frantic. “Hey, oh god, I
didn’t think it would get so bad,” he said when he laid eyes on Katsuki.
 
The blond was asleep now, and Izuku carried him to Eijiro’s car. Izuku shut
the door softly and turned to the redhead. “I, uh, have to ask that. Does he
bring many guys home?” Concern was in his voice.
 
Eijiro exhaled deeply and nodded. He rubbed over his face. “I hate to admit
it, but yeah, he kinda whores himself out. But I have no idea how far this goes.
But more than once, he came to me, crying about the guys that had their way with
him. I told him over and over again that he needed to stop this. Those guys are
only taking advantage of him, but he refuses to listen.”
 
Izuku nodded. “Hey, man,” Eijiro continued, “I get why you left. No one
should be in a relationship with someone they don’t love anymore, but … the
way you ended it … It broke him! And I have no idea how to fix him,” Eijiro
rubbed over his eyes. He was tearing up as well. “I don’t want to lose my
best friend to alcohol or worse, some rapists that massively overdo it. So
please, fix it somehow! You don’t have to be in a relationship with him, but
… I don’t know, bring him to go to therapy or something.”
 
“Yeah … I will try my best. I hate to see him this way. I never thought it
would end up this bad.” He looked at his ex-husband through the window.
“Take care of him, please.”
 
“Yeah …”
 
 
Eijiro drove off with Katsuki.
 
 
The following morning was hard. Katsuki was a mess even more than before, almost
like he was when Izuku just left him. Eijiro had to comfort him all over again.
“He left me to be with a woman!” He wailed. “D-Do I 
need to become a woman to get him back? Doesn’t he want me because I don’t
have a pussy?”
 
“That’s bullshit!” Eijiro murmured. “Izuku is coming over today.”
 
“What?!” Katsuki looked at him, and a sliver of hope crept up in his eyes.
 
“Yeah, Katsuki, look, you are destroying yourself. You need to stop that!”
 
“I can’t! He’s always in my head, and at least this way, I can forget
about him!” Katsuki shook his head.
 
He flinched when there was a knock at the door. Eijiro got up and opened it;
Izuku came in. “Hey, Eijiro. Hey Katsuki.”
 
Katsuki leaped out of bed and flew into Izuku’s arms again. Izuku let him, and
he carefully petted his head. They let Katsuki cry for some time. It broke
Izuku’s heart to see him like that. He realized once more how cruel he had
been.
 
They brought Katsuki back to the bed. Izuku saw all his missing t-shirts lined
up. “Can’t you come back to me? I need you!” Katsuki begged.
 
Izuku shook his head, he cupped his ex-husband’s face and wiped the tears
away, but new ones followed. “I’m sorry, Kacchan, for being so cruel to you.
I never thought you would take the break up so badly. I failed to realize that
you might not feel the same as I.”
 
“W-Why did you break up? Why did you fall out of love? What did I do
wrong?”
 
“You did nothing wrong. There’s no easy explanation for this. It wasn’t a
decision that came overnight, Kacchan. Over the last three years, I realized
that I wasn’t happy anymore. I didn’t want to break up with you. We were so
long married, but … at one point, I just couldn’t do it anymore,” he
explained in a calm voice, trying to get through to him.
 
“I still love you so much! I don’t want you to go!” Katsuki sobbed.
 
“I’m so sorry, but I’m not coming back,” there was genuine sadness in
his voice. “But Kacchan, I need you to stop destroying yourself. The alcohol
is not good for you. And … of course, you are free to have sex with any person
you like, but I’m afraid that those guys only take advantage of you when
you’re drunk.”
 
Katsuki’s lip quivered. “I hate it! I don’t want to sleep with them, but
that’s the only thing that keeps my head away from you. It feels awful when
they do me; they’re not like you.”
 
Izuku pulled him into another hug and let him cry more. “Do you think I’m a
whore now? I s-sometimes took money for it.”
 
“It’s fine, Kacchan. I don’t think that. It’s a cry for help. But,
Kacchan, you need to go to therapy!” Izuku moved back to look into the red,
teary eyes. “And I will help you through it, okay. I’m not getting back
together with you, but I want to make it somehow right. I handled the break-up
poorly and left you in this mess.” He wiped more tears off of Katsuki’s
face. “And I know that it will never be alright completely, but I try the best
I can to get you through this.”
 
Droplets of tears got stuck in Katsuki’s lashes; they glistened in the light
of the bedroom lamps. His whole face was red and puffy from all the crying and
the alcohol abuse. The blond sniffled. “Okay,” he whimpered. He didn’t
think it would help anyway, but he would do it if that was what it took to be
more with Izuku again.
 
Izuku smiled at him. Oh, he missed that smile so much. The large hole in his
chest that he had left slowly grew back together. Only by a few millimeters, but
it was a start.
 
 
Eijiro stood in the doorway, a soft smile on his face. He had hope that Katsuki
would make it through.
 
 
 
 
Therapy was hard, especially since Katsuki had to detox from the alcohol. He had
many relapses, but eventually, he managed to stay a week without alcohol, a week
that turned into a month – into two months – half a year, a year.
 
He also recovered from his need to fill the void with sex. He had trouble
opening up to this therapist about his feelings regarding those guys that had
their way with him while he was almost blacked out drunk.
 
His relationship with Izuku got steadier again. As promised, his ex-husband
helped him where he could. He always kept his distance in certain areas, though.
Finally, they went to couples therapy to talk about everything, and slowly,
Katsuki started to see Izuku’s points. He wasn’t happy about it, he cried a
lot during it, but he finally could understand it.
 
Katsuki knew that it was still a rocky road up ahead, but at least he could
finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe one day, it would feel
right again.
 
 




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